The moment they become pregnant, women start to have experiences completely different from those who aren’t.
If you don’t have a growing life inside your body, you won’t know what they’re going through no matter how many times you read about them. To show respect, it’s best to keep some things to yourself.
They won’t breathe fire on you when you say certain things, but do expect that they’ll either be really hurt or really angry about it – you wouldn’t want to stress out a pregnant mum, trust me.
To start, here are five things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman:
1. “Was It Planned?”
There’s a reason this is the first one on the list. A woman’s pregnancy story is hers and hers alone! Unless she’s comfortable sharing it on her own volition, then you have NO business asking this.
This question basically suggests that being pregnant is either a complete surprise or something you rigorously plan. Although there is some truth in that, would you really want to share whether your pregnancy is premeditated or if it’s caused by a quickie with your boyfriend? I definitely wouldn’t.
Also, you’re kind of implying that they probably don’t know about birth control. Regardless if they do or not, this implication is a complete offence. “Was it planned? You should probably look up birth control and family planning! You wouldn’t be pregnant if you did.”
2. “When I Was Pregnant…”
Okay, a little sharing wouldn’t hurt. But the tendency in this line of thought is that you’ll most likely compare your experience with them.
Every pregnancy is unique in its own way. Nothing is more annoying than someone preaching about something you know better than anyone else. There’s a fine line between giving advice and dictating what they should do. Know your boundaries!
3. “Wow, You’re So Small/Big!”
Everything on this list is annoying but this one probably takes the cake.
Exclaiming that a pregnant woman is “small” implies that “Um, are you sure you’re taking care of your baby?” Each body is different – its metabolism, responses, and any other development. Plus, you’ll just make the mum worry for no reason at all!
“Wow, you’re so big!” Duh? Stating the obvious is unnecessary. They’re pregnant, what do you expect? They will gain weight and that’s normal. Most pregnant women are already conscious of their body. You will literally gain nothing from saying this but a stressed-out pregnant woman.
Honourable mentions on this topic are: “Wow, you don’t look the same anymore”, “You’ve gained weight”, and “You’ll never look the same again.”
Moral lesson: don’t give unnecessary comments on anyone’s physical appearance at all.
4. “Enjoy ___ While You Can.”
This is nothing but another unnecessary scare.
Plenty of mums are still doing their hobbies and even working! They read books, watch movies, hang out with their family and friends, and things that you and I can do if they want to.
Not only are you making them worry for absolutely no reason at all, but you’re also reinforcing the notion that mums shouldn’t do anything else but devote themselves to taking care of their children.
Don’t get me wrong, that’s not a bad thing at all. But you shouldn’t forget that mums are their own person as well. They have their interests and passions outside of their role as a mum.
5. “You’re Going To Breastfeed, Right?”
You’d be surprised at how many people get worked up at the “breast milk versus formula milk” debate.
Majority of the time, people shame mums for resorting to the latter. Don’t forget that there are women who can’t breastfeed for various reasons, whether it be medical or that it’s just none of your business. Feeding a baby is a very personal thing especially for a mum.
In A Nutshell…
We’re not saying you should walk on eggshells when talking to a pregnant mum. They won’t explode like a mine when you say particular words, but you must remember that they are having difficult experiences that only they know. Don’t overstep your boundaries. Remember these five things you should never say to a pregnant woman and you’ll be fine!
Do you have anything to add to this list? We’re sure there’s plenty more. Share it with us in the comments section!