Grandparents are old and wise. They have been through many of life’s lessons which might just have the answers you’ve been looking for to understand parenting.
Grandparents tend to understand your teenagers more than you could, and it’s not only because they went through the phase of handling your younger years. Most of the lessons grandparents learned are because of the experiences they had with you and how you turned out.
You can see how grandparents treat their grandchildren differently than how they raised you, and it could reflect how much they have learned from past years. They may have been strict with you but more lenient with their grandchildren.
Being a parent would mean you react and handle situations depending on how you were raised. A grandparent would handle these situations depending on what they learned raising you – well-adjusted, reflective and with more patience.
4 Questions To Ask Grandparents On Parenting And Why
One of the most formative experiences for parents and their children is unveiled during the children’s teenage years.
Considering how you have grown into adulthood, learned responsibilities and now raising your own family, your children’s teenage years will be one of the most challenging years as a parent.
You will often wonder what your children could be going through for their behaviour to change. You will worry about what and how they learn certain things during these years. Your ace will be in asking the people who raised you and survived.
Here are some questions to ask your parents that can help shed some light on how to be a better parent to your kids;
“How Was I As A Teenager? How Did You Handle It?”
It’s hard to admit that you could have had your share of difficulties during your teenage years – now would be the best time to ask your parents how they handled your adolescence and thank them.
Asking them how you were when you were younger and how they were able to deal with your difficulties could give you a few points in how you can understand your children. It’s also an eye-opener that some interventions by grandparents are not to bypass your authority with your children, but it is just how they can love their grandchildren.
“What Would You Have Done Differently And Why?”
This question is the line that triggers the best stories, revisited between grandparents and parents. It will tackle plenty of questions and situations that happened in the past, both in your perspective as the child and of your parents.
While having this conversation with grandparents, you will realise that parenthood is never something you get a manual of instructions with. You work with what you have and it’s not usually easy.
Your parents may have done things differently before, but you will be thankful for how they raised you, and how well you will consider their experiences in raising your teenager.
“What Makes Me Different From My Teenager?”
This question could help you understand why your parents are treating their grandchildren differently from when they were raising you. This isn’t a case for everyone, but some grandparents tend to be softer to their grandchildren than to their children. What could be different now?
Some grandparents will explain that when they tried a certain approach with you, it didn’t work. It could also be that they saw different personalities between you and their grandchildren.
No matter what their reason could be, it sheds light that personalities work with different treatments. One way could work with your child, but not with you when you were younger. It’s a huge consideration when trying to understand your children.
“How do I walk past my shortcomings and do better?”
Everyone knows what the answer to this question is. Your parents wouldn’t be there to answer all these questions if they would prefer to be somewhere or someone else. But this is the very question you want your parents to answer. It is enough to realise that this is also what your teenager may want to hear.
Not all parents are showy and affectionate. Some parents stop being sweet and loving when their kids reach their teenage or young adult years. These are the years some parents and children lose the comfort and importance of family affection.
Consider the thought that no matter how old you are, you will always want your parents’ love so make sure you let your children know you would never trade them for the world whatever happens.
In A Nutshell…
There is no right or wrong when it comes to parenting. Your parents may have done things that you didn’t until you became a parent yourself. Whatever it is, they just wanted the best for you and your future.
You, being a parent now, will also go through the same thoughts. You just want the best for your kids. You just want to make sure your kids love where they will be in the future. That is why talking to grandparents is important in understanding parenthood.
The words of grandparents serve as the perfect guide to knowing what you should do as a parent – you need to just support and love your child. They won’t say exactly what you want, but they will bury substantial parenting wisdom.
Don’t forget to thank your parents for their never-ending support in raising you and your children with love and wisdom. Remind your children that they will always have you and their grandparents to turn to no matter what.